23 Apr Emily Wishall – She Is Done Pretending
We’re inspired by this woman and her ability to get raw. Meet Emily Wishall – She Is Done Pretending!
“Most of my life, I lived with the belief that in order to be loved, liked, accepted, I needed to be ‘good’ all the time. I needed to show up as having it all together. I needed to be perfect. Happy.
When someone asked how I was, I would answer with a well-rehearsed smile and respond, ‘I’m good’. Sure, some of the time I was ’good’. And there’s no need to air my dirty laundry to every single person who asks how I am. But, even when my family and dear friends checked in on me and truly wanted to know how I was, I responded in this way. I faked the illusion of being happy, even at times when I wasn’t. At times when I felt slightly depressed, isolated, and lonely.
I was scared of these feelings. I thought they meant something was wrong with me. That I wasn’t enough. That I was lacking in some way. So, I put on my good, forced posture that I’d practiced since I was a child, sucking my stomach in, holding my shoulders back, carrying myself with an air of false confidence.
About 3 years ago, I had an experience that illuminated a dramatic realization for me. At the time, I was going through the Rolfing 10-Series. Rolfing is a form of hands-on holistic bodywork and the 10-series provides an opportunity for the body to come back to its natural alignment in 10 consecutive sessions. About half way through the series, I was out one evening on a walk. All of a sudden, I realized how EASY it was to walk, I felt like I was gliding. I checked in with my body to determine where I was in gravity. I realized I was perfectly aligned. And I wasn’t making an effort. I wasn’t trying to hold myself up in how we are taught to have ‘good posture’.
Then, an overwhelming amount of emotion came over me. Tears filled my eyes. I realized that all of my life I had been pretending. I had been showing up in a certain way, holding my body in a certain posture, in an effort to project myself as being ‘good’, ‘having it all together’ in order to gain others’ acceptance…
At that moment, I knew I was done. I no longer wanted to pretend. It was exhausting and ultimately meaningless. In this newfound sense in my body, I was aligned, I felt strong, stable, and at the same time, I felt open, spacious. I had the capacity to be vulnerable and authentic, while still feeling strong and secure. It was the most incredible sensation and discovery. I could simply BE.
I share this story in the hopes that someone else may find some inspiration in it. A reminder to allow ourselves to simply BE. To show up as we are in any given moment. To remember, that true strength and acceptance come from within, not from external bystanders.
May you come back to your own true and unique alignment.”
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Emily is one of the fabulous women we’re featuring in our Everything She Is series. We’d love to feature YOU too! Email firstname.lastname@example.org with your “She Is” story (i.e. She Is Following Her Dream, She Is Coming Out, She Is a Rock Climber) and your favorite pic. Submissions can be anywhere from 200-800 words.
We can’t wait to get to know more of you, and to share your stories!